Not Easy

I dont see how people can tell me i am so lucky to be skinny, its not like i choose to be skinny,
I made myself like this years ago and now i have to deal with it,
Its a massive struggle, i have been battleing with Anorexia for about 5 or see years now, also when i first was diognosed with it i was also told i had belima as well, Its not like i choose to be like this any more, the first year was hard as i didnt think that i was sick so my body took a very big battering with it, though now i try and try to get my weight up and eat right and eat what ever i can though its just not working,
i hate it when people tell me i am so lucky, or what diet are you on i should try that, or im so jealouse,
jealouse of what> having your bones show? not having energy to keep up with everyone? having not that much body fat your heart misses beats?